Surrogate Parent or Pediatric Nurse?

I just returned to Tam Ky after spending the past five days, in Ho Chi Minh City, in the hospital with two sick babies. Both of the babies had spent the past month in the hospital here in Tam Ky which did absolutely nothing for the kids, but provide basic first aid. When we arrived at the FV Hospital, probably the nicest in Vietnam, we immediately learned that the babies have been suffering for some time from a combination of bronchitis, pneumonia, a severe urinary tract infection and both have enlarged livers and spleens.

We had tried to make arrangements for them to go earlier this week, but GVN in Vietnam has little funding for medical care and we had to do some fundraising in order to pay for the hospital bill. Kenny and I think it would be great if we could set up some sort of medical account so that these kids can get medical care whenever they need it, not just when there is money for it. That might be a project for when we get home. Also, the health care here in Vietnam is really not that expensive. For a baby to stay in the hosptial for 10 days and have all the necessary tests it will cost about $1200 USD. However, this is far more than most families would ever be able to afford.

In the airport, on the way to Ho Chi Minh City, most people thought that I was an adoptive mom of twins. I explained that I was only a volunteer and the babies were four and two months old, so not twins. However, little did I know I would be spending the coming days acting like a mom. Apparently in Vietnam the nurses are there to provide guidance and some care. However, the majority of basic care falls to family members. Therefore, the "mother" from the orphanage and I were there to provided 24 hour care and let me tell you it was exhausting. We did everything from give breathing treatments, to taking stool and urine samples and of course all the feeding, changing, and soothing. Of course the sick babies wanted to be held most of the time, which seems to go against the philosophy of Vietnamese child rearing. So, I figure that by holding the babies as much as I could I either created a well attached baby for a western parent to adopt, or I created a nightmare for the "mothers" when this baby returns to the orphanage.

As one would imagine the number of hours of sleeping were very few. As soon as one baby would fall asleep, the other would wake crying, and as soon as they were both asleep the nurses would need a blood sample. At night they took turns keeping us awake and by the time the other volunteer came to Ho Chi Minh City to relieve me I was more than happy to get out of the hospital and back to Tam Ky. The good news is that both boys will be out of the hospital in the next four or five days and at this time they think a virus, CMV, is causing the enlarged livers. They will need monitoring for the next six months to make sure they are doing okay but shouldn't have to go back to the hospital Ho Chi Minh. Meanwhile, I think I will put off having kids until I forget this experience, decide that sleep is overrated and think that screaming babies are music to my ears.